i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
