I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I will pee on everything he values.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
