help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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