butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
