Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
