my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
