So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
