Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
