It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i need some magic done to my vagina
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