we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
