6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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