i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
