Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
