got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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