some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
