Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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