so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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