I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize