Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
