I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
