One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize