problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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