best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
