I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
