Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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