Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
