Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
