Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
