so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
