walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
