Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
