i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
