Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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