I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
