Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
