I'm gonna have a badass scar
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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