...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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