Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize