Got a toothbrush?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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