your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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