considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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