Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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