life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Please don't give away my fajitas
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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