Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
