The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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