Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
