i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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