all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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