There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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