I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
