Cold hands, warm shart.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
