im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
