I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
