I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
