..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
