one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
