how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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