Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
did i just pee glitter
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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