im drinking this country out of the recession.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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