So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
