I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
