so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
