Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you will always have a special place in my vag
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
