My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
