Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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